The Saviors
Who Saved the People From Their Own Lies
September 15th, 2026 / µ
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Certain long-standing institutions, agencies, and public offices are mentioned, but the characters are entirely imaginary. The opinions expressed are those of the characters and should not be confused with those of the author.
Image: ©Unsplash
Once upon a time, there was a very ugly monster with the body of a scarecrow who always wore clogs and smelled of pork liver and manure. His name was Cloggers. Cloggers’ best friend, who always traveled with him, was named Fatso. He also smelled very badly.
One day these two ugly monsters arrived in Stick’o’tory, a village where most residents were closely related. Normally, the inhabitants of Stick’o’tory hated newcomers, but the women of Stick’o’tory couldn’t get enough of Cloggers. The scent of pork liver and manure and the sound of his clogs on the pavement almost made them swoon.
“I am here to save you,” Cloggers said. “I am here to save you from someone.” And Fatso nodded so fast that his belly began to stir and shiver.
“Yes, I will save you from the evildoer, who will do unto you as she has done unto me,” Cloggers said, his scarecrow body seeming ever so frail next to Fatso.
“But what did the witch do?” asked one woman in the village, who might have had a tiny brain. The author of this very true story cannot say. But some things suggest she might have had a brain, while most suggest the opposite.
“She did something so bad, so bad that I am traumatized, and she shows only contempt for the authorities – she makes jokes about the heroes of the public sector,” Cloggers said, hatred shining in his eyes as he watched the village in uproar. They all understood now that she was evil. Jokes about the heroes and heroines of their glorious nation? Yes, she had to be pure evil.
“Yes,” Cloggers said, wringing his dirty hands with lust and foreseeing the pleasure of the torture that would be inflicted upon the woman before she died. To watch others in pain always made Cloggers so happy. It also made his fat friend, Fatso, happy. The author of this very true story doesn’t know if they felt other emotions too.
“But we are here to save you from the witch. We are very special people; we are the guardians of the state,” Fatso said, his belly looking as if it had taken on a life of its own. “We protect you from now on. She will not hurt you or your children ever again, if you only do as we say.”
The whole village, idiots and retards alike, was so happy and felt so safe now that the saviors were there to deal with this danger, which they had hitherto not sensed. Evidently, it took the guardians of the state to see these things, because no one had ever had a problem with this woman before.
“We just need to take over your homes and children,” Fatso said. “From the privacy of your homes, we will neutralize the danger.”
The village was overjoyed; finally, the danger would be dealt with. All the villagers had longed for this for years, they believed. In fact, by now, they were all convinced that they had lived in mortal danger for years.
The author of this very true story doesn’t know whether it was the scent of pork liver and manure or the general lack of intelligence among the wonderful people of Stick’o’tory that made it so easy for Cloggers and Fatso to enlighten the villagers about the danger the joke-teller posed.
But all the villagers were happy and relieved, because they understood they would all be safe now, because the guardians of the state were here, stinky and glorious. All they had to do was hand over their homes and children, not ask any questions, and be ready to kill a joke-telling woman. And what good and decent citizen wouldn’t have done that? After all, it was justified, because the joke-teller was dangerous and evil. She had to be, because only a dangerous and evil woman would make jokes about the heroes and heroines of their glorious nation.
The author of this very true story will spare you, dear reader, of the gruesome details of the very justified murder, and just safely say that after the villagers of Stick’o’tory had chopped the joke-teller to pieces, Cloggers and Fatso felt justified and content because they had saved one more village from pure evil.
But the joy was short-lived for the two heroes of our story. As always, Cloggers and Fatso soon felt the need to save more people. And so, they went off into the sunset to search for other random women they could save the world from, and the villagers of Stick’o’tory went back to a better, safer world without jokes.
All rights reserved. © 2026 Annette My Grandjean Rønne
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